April 2012
8 posts
maybe it’s just the night, but i’m packing now and i’m wondering how the fuck i’m going to do any exams, being in the state i am in. i’ve seen other people in this state before and it really, really doesn’t bode well, and i hate myself, why am i like this, why can’t i just SNAP. OUT. OF. IT. this is stupid!
ARGH I NEED TO BE HAPPY I NEED TO BE HAPPY I WILL BE HAPPY OKAY I WILL BE HAPPY FOR FUCK’S SAKE ARGHARGHARGh
i don’t think i would feel such an immediate need to be happy if i didn’t have exams coming up
i need to be happy. okay? okay.
it’s not christmas and it’s not going to be christmas for a very long time but i’m listening to a winter’s tale because it’s my favourite christmas song and it’s sad and melodic and i should stop liking christmas so much because then it’s never going to be nice, because expectations are always disappointed.
ah, well.
it’s nearly 3am and i can do...
what i should do is, promise myself never to look at conversation history, because it’s a bad addiction, although a very modern one, although i suppose people could have been addicted to reading old letters before, but that wouldn’t be the same, because letters are a lot more controlled, whereas conversations are fast and capture the moment.
less than five hours until i leave the...
i will be happy i will be happy i will be happy
positive psychology fuck yeah i will think myself into being happy
(because i have to be happy. i have exams, so i need to be happy.)
oh warm glow-y feeling where did you go. oh i must stop reminiscing about the past.
oh i don’t want to start working again, oh i so love being lazy, life consisting of sleep and food and movies
and not you,...
less than a week till school and
and time, freeze?
Holiday Murmurs
The computer is so bright; I keep forgetting to go to sleep.
Suddenly I have become scared of exams - especially of losing all the Maths I’ve stuffed into my brain the past two terms, because Maths is the sort of thing you have to keep at and never stop doing. And I’ve stopped for over two weeks. Granted, I did this during Christmas as well, but I am getting dangerously close to my...
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